Misri
(Ring Ceremony)
All
prayers in Hindu ceremonies start by invoking the blessings of Lord
Ganesha (Lord Ganesha unlike all the other Hindu deities has an elephant
head as a result of the unfortunate conditions explaining Lord Ganesh's
elephant head - his own father axed off his son's head and then replaced
it with that of the first animal he saw - the Hindu devout shows his
lack of preference between the Lords by making his preliminary prayers
to Lords, Ganesha). Seven married ladies (portraying 7 forms of God
for each day of the week) use red powder to make a Ganesh sign (clockwise
swastika) on a pot of misri (crystalline sugar) asking him to bless
the couple and ensure that the ceremony goes well.
The
ladies also sew designs on a white piece of cloth to ward of any 'Nazar'
(evil eyes cast) that may come upon the happy occasion. This cloth is
worn by the couple on the wedding day. (Some couples leave the preparation
of the white cloth until the Ghari puja.)
A
puja is done by the couple and their parents welcoming God in different
forms and asking for his blessings. They pray to Lord Ganesha, Varun
Devta, Laxmi & Narayan, the Gods governing the 9 planets, and Om (i.e.
Triumverate of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva).
Garlands
are exchanged by the couple in order to welcome each other into their
lives. This part of the ceremony is known as the Varmala.
As
gold lasts forever, rings made of gold are exchanged by the couple in
order to represent a long married life. It is believed that the fourth
finger of the hand has a vein leading directly to the heart. Hence the
groom wears the ring on the fourth finger of his right hand and the
bride wears hers on the fourth finger of her left hand in order to form
a complete heart.
The
groom's family places a basket of fruits, clothes, cosmetics or ornaments
on the girl's lap (in her jholi) to represent their acceptance into
her family and bestowing her with happiness and prosperity.
The
groom's family gives a verbal promise of marriage and feeds misri (crystalline
sugar) to the girl's family to confirm the engagement. The eating of
sweet is considered auspicious by the Hindus and thus is eaten on all
happy occasions.
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Mehndi (Henna - Painting of Hands & Feet)
This
festive occasion, originally of Muslim origin, is usually held in the
late afternoon. This is primarily a ladies tea party, however allowing
the male relatives to be present. On the "mehndi", the future bride
has her hands and feet intricately patterned with a paste, which is
a recipe of henna, oil, lemon juice and some water tinted with tea.
The application of mehndi or henna takes about four hours to complete.
Ideally, the bride-to-be should not wash her hands until the paste has
completely dried. Invitees at the party also design each other's hands
with mehndi. Mehndi signifies the strength of love in a marriage. The
darker the mehndi, the stronger the love.
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Sangeet Party (Musical Party)
Music
is the soul of any wedding ceremony, regardless of faith or origin.
Without music & festivity, the wedding lacks sparkle. On the Sangeet
night, entertainment is provided with the help of professional singers
who sing 'ladas' and popular hindi songs. Family and friends eat, drink
and dance the night away.
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Sagri (Acquaintance)
The
sisters and female relatives of the groom visit the bride-to-be in her
home. They bring with them perfume, cosmetics and flowers that are strung
together in the form of earrings, bangles, hairpieces and garlands.
The sisters adorn their sister-in-law to be with the flowers, suggesting
their affection for her. The purpose of this ceremony is to increase
familiarity between the bride and her new family, creating an atmosphere
that is fragrant and beautiful.
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Nav-Graha Puja (Worship to the Nine Planets)
This
is the prayer to the nine planets of our Solar System. Ancient Indian
studies indicate that various celestial bodies have tremendous influence
on the destiny of every individual, and among them the effect of the
nine planets is "supposed" to be the most profound. During this puja,
the Gods associated with these planets are asked to bless the couple
and their families.
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Ghari Puja
This
is the final and most important religious custom that is performed on
the eve of the wedding day. "Ghari Puja" is carried out in the respective
homes of the couple. The priest performs the prayers with rice, coconut,
wheat grains, oil, betel nuts, turmeric and a number of other spices.
Married ladies grind wheat on a small old-fashioned grinder symbolising
that the home will always be prosperous. The groom offers a handful
of grains to the priest indicating that although he is changing his
lifestyle, he will always give to charity and look after those less
fortunate than himself.
The
mothers of both the bride and groom dress up in their bridal finery.
Carrying an earthen pot of water on their heads, they walk to the threshold
of their homes. The sons-in-law of the respective families cut the water
with a knife to ward off any evil spirits. The parents are adorned with
garlands of flowers and money by their friends and relatives. The bride
and groom wear old clothes that are torn off by their friends and family
members amidst merriment, illustrating the end of their old life.
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Swagatam (Welcome)
After
the bride dresses up in her wedding ensemble, her sisters or female
relatives escort the groom to the bride's house. At the entrance, the
groom places his right foot on the top of the bride's foot, signifying
that he should be the dominating strength in their life together. After
the groom enters the house, the bride's parents rinse his feet with
milk and water. It is believed that due to all the prayers that have
preceded this moment, the groom is an embodiment of Lord Vishnu on this
wedding day.
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Hathialo
(Joining of the Hands)
In
this ceremony, the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf, which
is worn by the groom. The right hands of the couple are tied with a
thread that has been blessed with religious incantations. The typing
of the hands signifies an eternal bond that will join them forever.
The couple then prays to the Gods to give them strength and bless their
union.
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The
Wedding Ceremony
The
wedding ceremony is performed by the priest in the presence of family
and friends. The bride and groom are seated in front of a holy fire
and the priest recites various religious sayings from the Holy scriptures.
According to the Hindu religion, fire is considered the sustainer of
life. It is believed that the Gods and Goddesses sit around this auspicious
fire. The priest directs various family members to give offerings into
the holy fire. The couple walks around the fire four times exchanging
vows of duty and love, fidelity, respect and a fruitful union. the groom
then places the brides hand on his forehead, to denote that he accepts
her as his wife for better of for worse, in health or in sickness and
that it his destiny to marry her. The couples heads are held together
implying that although they are separate individuals, from this day
onwards, they are one in body, mind and spirit.
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Kanya
Daan (Entrusting of the Daughter)
The
bride's parents entrust their daughter in the safe keeping of the groom
and his family.
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Datar
(Salt Ceremony)
After
friends and family have greeted the couple, they leave for the groom's
house. At the entrance of their new home, the bride's feet are rinsed
by the groom's parents. A cover is placed over her head as she sprinkles
milk in all corners of the house. This signifies that she will maintain
the respect of the family and that if there are any misunderstandings
within the family, she is supposed to help solve or "cool" them. Surrounded
by her new family, the bride picks up a handful of salt and places it
in the hands of her husband. He passes it back into her hands without
spilling any salt. This is done three times. Similarly, the "datar"
is carried out with all members of the groom's family. Exchanging salt
symbolises that just as salt blends in and gives taste to food, so must
the bride blend in and become a part of her new family.
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This article on Sindhi Marriage Rituals was researched by Sonney Lalwani.
We also thank Chander Navani for his help.
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