Volume - 8 : Issue - 2

Published : April - June 2009

Group : Humour


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1.       A Sindhi is an international person who like a chameleon, changes his colours according to the lay of the land he is in.

2.       He goes for a walk to the park in the morning in his brand new Mercedes, to show off to his friends; but to his shop, no way, the old two wheeler will do.

3.       He must have his two pegs of Johnny Walker Black Label before dinner – after all, the brand survives on the International Sindhi consumer as does the 555 brand of cigarettes which he proudly sports.

4.       Mortgages the house and borrows money for that coveted diamond jewellery set for the wife to show off at the next society wedding.

5.       Masters the native language wherever he lives, Tamil in Chennai or Mandarin in Hong Kong. But at home not a word of Sindhi does he speak, read or write. The whole family knows English, Hindi and the local language but their own mother tongue is taboo.

6.       Worshipping all the Gods without following the religion is the Sindhi specialty. They pray to Guru Nanak, have a Granth Saab at home, but they are not Sikhs.  No kesh, kada or kirpaan for them. No sir. They go to Vaishnodevi for a Himalayan vacation and walk from Ahmedabad to Ambaji for exercise, but certainly not for religious purpose.

7.       Sindhis are the greatest followers of saints and sadhus. They believe that these ascetic creatures will wash away all the wrongs they have done to date. They go to Beas to the Radhaswami Headquarters, to Puttuparti for blessings of Shri Satya Saibaba, to Asharam Bapu in Sabarmati or to Laxmi Bhagwan in Mumbai and to any other saint they have heard of through their own grapevine.

8.       Sindhis have no tradition of ancestry. They do not even have a surname to speak of leave alone caste and creed. It is said that a century or so ago, when Sindhi children went for admission to convent schools, they were asked to fill in forms giving their surname. Not having one, they looked up their forefathers list and simply added 'ani' after the oldest and called it their surname. Thus one Ramchandani has no relation whatsoever with another except that great grandfathers of both were named 'Ramchand'.

9.       All Sindhis are highly motivated by the word 'PROFIT'. Wherever it exists, you will find a Sindhi, be it Dubai or Toronto, Colombo or Miami, Lagos or London. They get attracted by the word and make a beeline for that destination. You will find the creatures in way out places like Suriname in South America and Helsinki in Finland.

10.     Food wise Sindhis are gourmets. Willing to try anything. Just as happy eating snails in Paris or Kangaroo meat in Australia. Relish all kinds of cuisine; be it Chinese, Mexican, Italian Pasta, Hot Dogs and Hamburgers or the more sedate British fried fish and chips. Their favourite of course is the desi kababs and biryanis. Sindhi cuisine is also quite exotic both vegetarian and non-vegetarian.

11.     Looking for a Sindhi school for your kids. Sure, there are lots of them run by various Sindhi Trusts.  But you know what, the medium of instruction in each and everyone of these schools (pronounced - Ischools) is English.

12.     Here is one Sindhi trait you will never find in any other ethnic community……… A Sindhi will never have a Sindhi family doctor nor fight a legal battle in court with a Sindhi lawyer.  Even his chartered accountant will be anybody but a Sindhi (except if he is working the black market)

13.     You won't find a Sindhi without an uncle in Hong Kong, a cousin in the Canary Islands, an aunt in Mauritius or a distant relative in Saigon, Vietnam.  Sindhis are evenly distributed all over the planet. Anywhere you go you will definitely find a few of the species.

14.     Sindhis working abroad are called 'Sindhworkies'. They make their money there and once every couple of years they come to India for a holiday and to meet their family and relatives.  Here they generously distribute gifts to all and sundry….Rolex watches, (made in Singapore), french perfumes, (concocted in Kenya), Arrow shirts (duplicated in China) and all kinds of knick-knacks picked up at the discount counters of the Dollar Stores all over the world.

15.     One other way of spotting this Sindhworkie is the strong smell of Eau de Cologne emanating from him which he has so generously sprayed on himself before venturing out into the desi world.

16.     During this Sindhworkie's stint in India, he must visit any or all of the following places:

a)      The Golden Temple at Amritsar

b)      The Saibaba Temple at Shirdi

c)      The Brahmakumari Ashram at Mount Abu

d)      The Balaji Temple at Tirupathi

e)      The Mataji Temple at Vaishnodevi.

f)    The Sadhu Vaswani Centre at Pune

17.     At Mumbai, he will leave no stone unturned in wrangling an invitation to a Bollywood bash and meet up with a couple of film stars, who of course will later become his 'langoti yaars' and bosom buddies.

18.     Along with learning the local language and customs the Sindhi is also quick to change his name to suit the local environment so that the locals do not have to twist their tongues calling him.  Thus, Mohan Sadhwani quickly becomes Mike Sadhwani, Jetho Harjani becomes Jerry Harjani, Tekchand Motwani changes to Tom Motwani.  Given the option he will change his surname too, like Sipahimalani becomes Sippy, Mulchandani changes to simply Daney and Kripalani to Kripps.

19.     For a quick snack nothing like the good old Papad. Before a drink, with the drink or along with the meal, the papad is very much part of his lifestyle.

20.     One good thing about the Sindhi, he carries about 25 different credit cards but never uses any of them.  Don't want to see any bank entries to explain, do we. Pay by cash only, besides what about the interest charges on those credits.

21.     The affluent Sindhi has a large and neat library of books at home and office. All properly stacked with the latest Best Sellers, Classics, Encyclopedias and Dictionaries.  Like the tusks of the elephant, all these assets are for display only. Never reads any of this stuff. For literary consumption, he prefers the more glossy picture filled magazines like Playboy, Penthouse or the desi Star Dust, Filmfare, Femina and Debonair.  

22.     Sindhis are movie Buffs of the Bollywood kind.  They have seen all the pictures of Raj Kapoor and Nargis, Dilip Kumar and Meena Kumari and of course all Amitabh Bachhan movies. But they are not averse to the new heartthrobs like Shah Rukh Khan or Aishwarya Rai.

23.     We have mostly talked about the Sindhi Males.  But what about the female of the species.  Sindhi women are generally flashy, prefer loud and bright colours, adorn as much jewelry as can be accommodated by their necks, forearms and ears. Diamonds are the preferred precious stones. They are ardent users of Revlon and Max Factor products for enhancing their natural good looks and a more than 'healthy' figure.

24.     Sindhi Females prefer sparkling gold and silver laced sandals to the more sedate leather slippers. Similarly the handbags they carry, the jazzier the better. Sorry no Gucci's or other designer accessories for this breed.

25.     Go to any restaurant in town for lunch.  You will see at least a couple of Kitty parties in progress.  Look closely and you will spot at least half a dozen or more of these Sindhi females.  You will find them looking at their attire and accessories, but if you still can't then listen.  The loudest of the lot are likely to be Sindhi.  They do not have a volume control on their vocal cords.  They simply love these kitty parties.

26.     Sindhis are real geeks when it comes to rituals.  They will not eat non-veg food on Mondays, full Moon days (Satnarain) or zero moon days (Gyaras).  Laxmi puja is a must on Diwali, Eat Bhorindas (Til Ladoos)  in Uttaran and Ghiers (Large Jalebis) on Holi. Observe all the festivals and celebrate the national holidays like Republic Day and Independence day with fervour.

27.     A Sindhi is a born optimist.  Turns a blind eye to the darker side of life. A gambler by instinct, he wants to ride his luck, sets his targets high and maybe even unachievable.

28.     The negative side of Sindhis is they never help each other. They treat all Sindhis as competitors whether in business or in their social life.  So if a guy is going down or doing badly, push him further so that he can never rise again. (It's a disheartening fact of SINDHIS)

29.     Sindhis believe in working hard for achieving their goals.  They are quite ruthless along the way and if a few people get destroyed in the process, so be it. That's their problem.

30.     An average Sindhi is a Zero Culture person.  For him a painting is a painting whether a Rembrandt or a filmy poster. Classical music is a lot of noise, the filmy remixes are better. He would much rather see a dance by Rakhee Sawant than a Bharat Natyam of Mallika Sarabhai.

31.     So also it goes with sightseeing. No wild life resorts for him or a visit to the Louvres.  He would prefer a visit to the Moulin Rouge in Paris or a Disco Party in Singapore.  The scenic beauty of Switzerland will be simply wasted on him. But Mardi Gras in New Orleans would be a treat.

All said and done, it is a GREAT Community, the epitome of 'Self-Help', no hang ups, high acceptance level and a community of equals.

Long Live Sindhyat!!